Everyone knows that pirates roam the coasts of Somalia. But did you know Mexican pirates are known to lurk here too? Well, not really… they’re actually just a few drunk Irishmen…
What started as a joke on a lad’s holiday in Europe, became a lifestyle for adventures in Africa, the Middle East and Europe. The wildest of these stories are featured in My Life as a Mexican Pirate, Mark Zolo’s second travel memoir.
The bulk of the book takes place in West Africa. The first epic adventure begins with Mark, his pal, and his parents in The Gambia. After jettisoning his folks in Senegal, the trusty duo make their way across the Western African coast to Lagos, Nigeria. Along the way they encounter scammers, prostitutes, civil wars, ambassadors, voodoo witchcraft and more.
Although sex is a running theme in the book, the cornucopia of (pirate) booty is put aside in places like Syria and Palestine where the narrative takes a poignant turn. The abrupt change in style reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where George gives up sex and becomes a genius. When Mark puts the debauchery and hedonism aside, he provides a unique and insightful look at complicated political situations. The insight is a rare glimpse at areas of the world that have faced ongoing political turmoil. Few Westerners, for example, have journeyed to places like Somalia and Syria, and who can blame them. So an insider’s look at these destinations is much welcomed.
I’m not sure what to make of Mexican pirates traveling to active war zones though. It’s such an absurd notion, but so deliciously hilarious. It’s pretty clear that Mark and his pals didn’t travel to these places for YouTube videos or Instagram likes. It wasn’t adventure tourism, per se, but rather adventure for the sake of adventure–there’s a difference here. Mark has a deep desire to seek out adrenaline and adventure, whether it’s cruising the streets of Mogadishu in an armored vehicle, or going to an Irish pub in Damascus during the Syrian Civil War (yes, really).
At times, the book seems too good to be true. Not the crazy destinations he went too, but the notches he racks up over time. Every country he steps foot into he captures a new “flag”, that is, a special notch one gets from banging a girl from a new country. Though these sexcapades seem more believable in that he is totally candid in his interactions. In the Dominican Republic, he went from sleeping with Miss Dominican Republic, to then a few days later finding himself on his knees, staring up at a Domincan crackwhore as he… okay, I’ll stop there. In fact, it’s one of the most repulsive stories I’ve ever read. My stomach literally churned as I laughed uncomfortably while reading it. Cheers, Mark…
Mark certainly does earn the nickname of “The Indiana Jones of the Manosphere”. The perfect timing and escalation of his bedding of a big-bootied Omani women, reminded me of the famous Indiana Jones scene where he is escaping the temple and slides under the door just in time. Mark’s balls and charm are really impressive (And no, I haven’t actually seen his balls). His behavior and banter should be studied by guys who want to improve their dating lives. You can find more at his blog Naughty Nomad where he has documented years of his travels and lays alike.
Perhaps the most impressive thing about Mark is that now he has a seemingly normal life, or at least one isn’t as crazy as it used to be. He now lives in Malta, where he operates several pubs and has invested in real estate. I think he may even be settled down with a girl! I find this impressive because many other guys who have led this kind of life haven’t turned out so well. Roosh V, for example, after spending half his life fornicating with foreign broads had a life crisis, and is now a fundamentalist Christian and a bedfellow of the alt-Right. Day Game gurus like Krauser have had to detox from game, and re-wire their brains to be able to have a somewhat normal sex life. Victor Pride from Bold & Determined, while not a dating guru, also recently announced that he became a born-again Christian after a long-hiatus. Mark has, as far as I can see, come out unscathed and is thriving.
My Life as a Mexican Pirate is one hell of a read. It’s undoubtedly unique. When he tells the story for receiving an award from the Mayor of Mogadishu as the first tourists to the city (in recent years?), it’s clear that he and his pals are one of a kind and that this book is not to be missed!
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